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kottke.org posts about star wars

Darth Spatula

It’s real and it’s spectacular.

Darth Spatula

Whether the mission is baking cookies or flipping pancakes, young Padawan cooks will love using our official Star Wars spatula featuring the fearsome Darth Vader.

And that’s not all! Williams Sonoma sells all sorts of Star Wars-themed cooking gear:

Galactic Empire™ Cupcake Decorating Kit - “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the Jedi Kitchen Council devised a powerful new way to spread fun through the galaxy. Jedi Master pastry chefs created this extraordinary collection of tools…”

Sandwich Cutters with Vintage-Style Tin - “Transform your Jedi’s favorite sandwiches into high-energy fuel for lunches, snacks and parties with Millennium Falcon™ and Darth Vader’s TIE fighter™ sandwich cutters. Created by the Jedi Kitchen Council to celebrate the Rebel Alliance’s victory over the evil Empire, these cutters are fun and easy to use — just press and cut.” [The “Vintage-Style Tin” is actually, how you say, a metal lunchbox.]

Pancake Molds - “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a Jedi Kitchen Master used the Force to create three pancake molds in honor of his favorite galactic hero and villains: Yoda, Darth Vader and a stormtrooper. Use these molds to add whimsy and fun to your next pancake breakfast.” [The Vader pancake looks a lot like Hannibal Lector in his mask.]

What, no Jar-Jar Binks Home Preserves Kit? (thx, meg)


Star Wars weather

What’s the weather like on Dagobah, Alderaan, or Hoth? Find out with these handy OS X Dashboard widgets.

Hoth weather


The making of The Empire Strikes Back

Vanity Fair has excerpts (photos mostly) of a new book on the making of The Empire Strikes Back.

Vader Luke Mattresses

This is right before Luke fell to his death sleep. (via df)


And on the sixth day, Lucas created Chewbacca

Ok, so this is about how George Lucas came up with idea of Chewbacca (hint: he basically stole it from someone else) and yes it’s a bit inside-baseball but it’s also a great illustration of how the creative process works and the difficulty of explaining how the magic happened even after the fact.

And that’s what this post it about; the creative process. Cultural touchstones like Star Wars might seem to have sprung fully formed from the minds of their lauded creators, but as in all creative endeavours, movie making, web design or this very post, nothing could be further from the truth. Creation is a process, and strangely, by looking at how everyone’s favority plush first-mate sprang into existance, we can learn a lot about any collaborative creative endeavour.

Also, the name of Lucas’ dog was Indiana.


Four ways to reinterpret Star Wars

Star Wars is like nerd scripture: moral homilies, scrupulous exegesis, debates over canonicity, commentaries on commentaries, gnostic gospels, and after-the-fact revision and then purging of the source texts. But some of the secondary writing that tries to resolve the contradictions in the series (especially between the beloved original trilogy and reviled prequels) is just plain fun.

  • A New Sith, or Revenge of the Hope” was my introduction to this genre, and it’s still one of the best. It takes the prequels as canon, and argues for an intriguing, sinister subtext to Episode IV.
  • Another approach is to just reinvent the stories altogether, changing whole plot points at will. I tried my hand at this at a short-lived but wonderfully fun group site called Counterfictionals. (Scroll down for the better posts, or check the whole archive for terrific stuff by other writers on Star Trek, Batman, etc.)
  • At HiLobrow, Joshua Glenn maps a virtuoso cultural interpretation that I can’t summarize, except to say that it involves the use of a semiotic square and the use of the word “quatsch.”
  • Finally, this one comes out of the Kottke archives. Aidan Wasley argues that the whole six-part-series is “the greatest postmodern art film ever,” relentlessly self-referential, where mysterious elements like “the Force” stand in for the artifice of plot itself.

Let’s just say that under this interpretation, James Franco is giving Lucas a run for his money.


Victorian Star Wars portraits

Victorian Chewbacca

Duke Chewbacca, Master Threepio, Sir Boba Fett, and, er, Lord Vader (more or less).


Pixar Star Wars

Illustrations of Pixar characters drawn as Star Wars characters.


The world’s tallest building, out of time

Martin Becka and Cedric Delsaux are a pair of photographers who feature Burj Dubai in their work. Becka’s Burj comes from his Dubai, Transmutations project in which he uses the photogravure processing technique to make images of brand-new Dubai that look as though they were taken in 1880.

Martin Becka Dubai

Delsaux’s Burj image comes from a project called The Dark Lens, which features images of Star Wars characters populating the circa-2008 Earth. I believe that’s the Millennium Falcon docking at the Burj:

Cedric Delsaux Dubai

Many more of The Dark Lens images are available on Delsaux’s site.


Darth Vader opens Wall Street

Darth Vader and a number of Storm Troopers from the Star Wars Saga rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

(via @kngofwrld)


Why the Phantom Menace sucks

I confess that I only had time this morning to watch the first 10 minutes, but from that viewing I can safely conclude that this is the best 70-minute video critique of The Phantom Menace that exists in the world. If the first 20 seconds don’t get you, stick around until “protagonist”. Or don’t take my word for it; here’s Lost’s Damon Lindelof’s reaction:

Your life is about to change. This is astounding film making. Watch ALL of it.

Part the first:

After watching the last 3-4 minutes of this first segment, I wanted to give Lucas a hug because I feel so bad for the guy for failing in public in such a huge way. (thx, scott)


Lucas wanted David Lynch to direct Return of the Jedi

In this video, Lynch describes a visit with George Lucas and why he turned down Lucas’ offer to direct Return of the Jedi.

So, he took me upstairs and he showed me these things called Wookiees. And now this headache is getting stronger.


Making of: CG for Star Wars

There was a short CG special effects sequence in Star Wars (the Death Star explanation at the Rebel briefing); here’s how it was made.


Princess Leia and stunt double sunbathing on Tatooine

This did unsurprisingly well when I posted it to Twitter, so I’ve archived it here for posterity. This is Carrie Fischer and her stunt double taking a nap under the Tatooine suns during the filming of Jedi.

Tatooine sunsbathing


What do Stormtroopers do on their day off?

They play video games, dance, fish, hang out with Wall-E, and all kinds of other stuff. I can’t decide which is my favorite…this one, this one, or this one? No, it’s gotta be this one:

Stormtroopers at the beach

(via @ettagirl)


Barack Obama, Jedi Knight

The President recently hosted a rally at The White House in support of Chicago’s bid to hold the 2016 Summer Olympics. Some members of the Olympic fencing team were there. Obama was given a plastic sword. Photos were taken. Photoshop (with an assist from me) did the rest.

Here’s our President attacking an unseen Sith Lord or perhaps someone condemned by a death panel:

Obama Lightsaber 01

And having finished them off to the delight of the assembled, a victory pose.

Obama Lightsaber 02

Update: See also the Japanese Obama action figures. (thx, myles)


Potter, Stars Trek and Wars, Matrix all the same movie

You’ve likely seen this comparison of Harry Potter and the first Star Wars movie but that comparison has recently been expanded to include not only Potter and Star Wars but also The Matrix and Abrams’ Star Trek.

Once upon a time, Luke | Kirk | Neo | Harry was living a miserable life. Feeling disconnected from his friends and family, he dreams about how his life could be different. One day, he is greeted by Obi Wan | Captain Pike | Trinity | Hagrid and told that his life is not what it seems, and that due to some circumstances surrounding his birth | birth | birth | infancy he was meant for something greater.

Update: The connecting theme is the monomyth. (via @adamlgerber)

Update: Or perhaps Potter is really Young Sherlock Holmes? (thx, stephen)


The architecture of Star Wars

The Architects’ Journal selected their top 10 structures from the Star Wars films.

Not quite a building, but the monumental quality of its form and its polygonal facades lend this Jawa Sandcrawler a building-like presence. These large treaded vehicles have inspired buildings from a Tunisian hotel to Rem Koolhaas’ Casa de Musica in Porto.

(thx, janelle)


Jedi sucks

Fifty reasons why Return of the Jedi sucks. Number one with a bullet is “Ewoks, Ewoks, Ewoks”.

But aside from what we see onscreen, the Ewoks are miserable little creatures for a completely different reason: they are the single clearest example of Lucas’ willingness to compromise the integrity of his Trilogy in favor of merchandising dollars. How intensely were the Ewoks marketed? Consider this: “Ewok” is a household word, despite the fact that it’s never once spoken in the film.

When I was a kid, I had a friend who knew all the names of even the most minor characters from the Star Wars movies and had no idea where he got that information. Was there a fourth movie I didn’t know about? It wasn’t until much later that I realized his extensive collection of SW action figures had filled in all the blanks for him.

BTW, the current definition of an Ewok on Wikipedia reads:

Ewoks are a fictional species of teddy bear-like hunter-gatherers that inhabit the forest moon of Endor and Settlement operations at Goldman Sachs.

Goldman, you’ve been burned!


These aren’t the pants you’re looking for

The best lines from Star Wars that are improved by replacing a word with “pants”.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.
Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.
Han’ll have those pants down - we’ve gotta give him more time!
I have altered the pants, pray that I don’t alter them further.


Star Wars yoga

Star Wars yoga. Poses include Reclined Jabba, Speeder Bike, and Saber One.


Star Wars on The Muppet Show in 1980

Four months before the opening of The Empire Strikes Back, Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, R2-D2, and Chewbacca appeared as the special guest stars on The Muppet Show. Mark Hamill’s first line as Skywalker is:

It seems we’ve landed on some sort of comedy variety show planet.

…and it goes downhill from there. The whole show is available on YouTube in three parts:

The appearance was probably orchestrated as a promotional crossover. Frank Oz voiced Yoda in Empire and was a lead puppeteer for The Muppet Show, performing Missy Piggy and Fozzie, among others.


Star Wars: A New Heap

On Stanley Kubrick, George Lucas, Robert Morris, Robert Smithson, Jane Jacobs, 2001, Star Wars, and minimalism: Star Wars: A New Heap.

Kubrick’s film presented a future of company men moving with assurance and clear intention toward a godlike minimalist object. Lucas, on the other hand, gave us a slapdash world of knuckleheads pursued by industrial-scale minimalists. Visually, Kubrick’s film is as seamless and smooth as the modernist authority it mirrored. Like the mid-century modernists, 2001 associated abstraction with the progressive ideals of the United Nations as embodied by its New York headquarters. Lucas, on the other hand, was a nonbeliever. Even the initially smooth and unitary form of the Death Star was shown, as the rebel fighters skimmed its surface, to be deeply fissured with an ever-diminishing body of structural fragments. These crenulated details suggested a depth and complexity to modern life that modernism’s pure geometries often obscured.

And this:

A flying saucer had never been a slum before. The immaculate silver sheen of the saucer was reinvented as a dingy Dumpster full of boiler parts, dirty dishes, and decomposing upholstery. Lucas’s visual program not only captured the stark utopian logic that girded modern urban planning, it surpassed it. The Millennium Falcon resisted the modernist demand for purity and separation, pushing into the eclecticism of the minimalist expanded field. Its tangled bastard asymmetry made it a truer dream ship than any of its purebred predecessors. It is the first flying saucer imagined as architecture without architects.

(thx, matt)


Classic Star Wars photos

Three collections of old Star Wars photos and illustrations: 1) a huge collection of classic Star Wars stills, set photos, etc., 2) a smaller collection of photos from the set of the first film, and 3) some early storyboards from the first movie, tentatively titled “The Star Wars”.


I’m sure it made sense to George Lucas

Five reasons why Luke Skywalker is a complete idiot.

You: “Okay, if you can just use your Force powers to get in to the palace and all the way to Jabba, then let’s just have you go in right now and get Han out.”

Luke: “No, that’s stupid. I’m going to get myself captured. Because then you see, we’ll be taken to the sarlacc pit and then, when we’re on the skiff, I’ll get sent out first and then R2-D2 will manage to get to the top of Jabba’s sail barge and shoot out my lightsaber, and then with Lando’s help, we’ll just rescue everyone and then everything will be fine!”

You: “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.”

Luke: “I’ve thought of everything.”


Star Wars A to Z

A set of nicely illustrated Star Wars ABC cards. A is for Ackbar, S is for Sarlacc, etc.


Star Wars influence chart

A chart from Wired in 2005 shows how Star Wars influenced the later development of movies, games, TV programs, and the like.

The Star Wars empire has grown into one of the most fertile incubators of talent in the worlds of movies (Lucasfilm), visual effects (Industrial Light & Magic), sound (Skywalker Sound), and video games (LucasArts). Along the way, some of the original Lucas crew has gone on to become his biggest competitors.

The Flash interface is really annoying and not useful…the whole image is a better way to look at it. Very Mark Lombardi. (via vc)


Triumph interviews Star Wars fans

I’m not sure anyone has made anything online funnier than this classic: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interviews Star Wars fans standing in line for Attack of the Clones.


Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Lucas finally does away with all those pesky human actors in an animated sequel to Episode II that no one was clamoring for. But I had to look at the trailer.


Bluegrass Vader

Bluegrass Vader. I was just about to click away when, bam, instant laughter.


Photography of Star Wars characters in contemporary

Photography of Star Wars characters in contemporary urban settings. (Pardon the stupid Flash interface…click on “series” to see the photos.) (via vitamin briefcase)