Worst analogies ever written in a high
Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay. “He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. “
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kottke.org posts about language
In an entry yesterday, I (knowingly) used
In an entry yesterday, I (knowingly) used the word nonplussed in a non-standard fashion. The Oxford American Dictionary on my computer tells me: “In standard use, nonplussed means ‘surprised and confused’. In North American English, a new use has developed in recent years, meaning ‘unperturbed’ — more or less the opposite of its traditional meaning. Although the use is common, it is not yet considered standard.” I’m happy to help move the English language forward (backward?) in this manner. That and I wanted to see if the language pedants in the audience were paying attention…and they certainly were. ;) (thx, everyone who sent this in)
The Google 15
the fifteen pounds that new Google employees supposedly gain in their first year at Google from gorging on the omnipresent free food.
Finally! An answer to the question “if
Finally! An answer to the question “if a thousand monkeys robots type at a thousand typewriters for one thousand years, will they produce Shakespeare?” The answer is “police undies”.
I’m sure native Bostonians will find much
I’m sure native Bostonians will find much to argue about in this list of Boston slang. (via cyn-c)
The Cupertino effect: a term for incorrect
The Cupertino effect: a term for incorrect spellcheck suggestions that make it into finalized documents. The term comes from the appearance of the word “Cupertino” in several European Union documents in the place of “cooperation”. “The fact that Secretary General Robertson is going to join this session this afternoon in the European Union headquarters gives you already an idea of how close and co-ordinated this Cupertino is and this action will be.”
Oxford University Press has announced their word
Oxford University Press has announced their word of the year for 2006: carbon neutral. Runners up included DRM, ghostriding, CSA, and Islamofascism.
Alright, anyone using the term Web 3.0 gets
Alright, anyone using the term Web 3.0 gets poked in the eye. Cripes.
The entry for calling shotgun on Wikipedia.
The entry for calling shotgun on Wikipedia. There are almost 60 special amendments to the “official” rules, including “Amendment IX: Australian Shotgun. Originally from Australia, if two people tie for shotgun, then the first person to put their thumb on their head is awarded shotgun. If they both do this at the same time, then an immediate pissbolt (race) to the car is required.” (via zach, who says “best Wikipedia entry ever?”)
James Gleick on how the Oxford English
James Gleick on how the Oxford English Dictionary staff is dealing with the proliferation of words on the internet. “New words weren’t proliferating at quite the rate they have done in the last 10 years. Not just the Internet, but text messaging and so on has created lots and lots of new vocabulary.”
Headline: Naked man arrested for concealed weapon.
Headline: Naked man arrested for concealed weapon. This reads like an entry in a six words story competition.
Cockney rhyming slang meets celebrity namedropping. “I
Cockney rhyming slang meets celebrity namedropping. “I left my Clare Rayners down the Fatboy Slim so I was late for the Basil Fawlty. The Andy McNab cost me an Ayrton Senna but it didn’t stop me getting the Britney Spears in. Next thing you know it turned into a Gary Player and I was off my Chevy Chase.”
“Wans sup pawn at I’m their worth
“Wans sup pawn at I’m their worth reel ladle pegs hole eft tome deuce seethe a whirled.” Listen to the audio file and it’ll all make sense. (thx, azrael)
Update: See also Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. (thx, carol)
Snowclone watch watch: Anil discovers the multivalent story of America.
Snowclone watch watch: Anil discovers the multivalent story of America.
The new
A brief history of ten minutes from now, courtesy of ten minutes ago (and Google (Google is the new Yahoo? Google is the new Microsoft? Google is the new Borg? Google is the new Yellow Pages? Google is the new library?)):
Breast-feeding is the new labor
Dumb is the new smart
Cobain is the new Elvis
Fundamentalists are the new avant-garde
Black is the new Jewish
SnowJoggers are the new Uggs
Square watermelons are the new round watermelons
Negative publicity is the new hot hype
Small is the new big
Yellow is the new black
Islamism is the new Nazi-Fascism
Armand De Brignac is the new Cristal
Vertical stripes are the new horizontal stripes
Awake is the new sleep
Cell phones are the new cigarettes
Pale is the new tan
JSON Serialization is the new XML Serialization
Sincerity is the new irony
Black is the new gay
Anti-terrorism is the new terrorism
Non-fiction is the new Fiction
RVs are the new homes
Gay cowboys are the new penguins
Oral is the new second base
Libertarians are the new swing vote
Green is the new Black
Bamboo is the new cotton
Cripples are the new Gay
Searing pretension is the new punk rock
Mannies are the new Mary Poppins
Referrer spam is the new Amway
Videogames are the new graffiti
Eco-apocalypticism is the new religion
Colspan is the new
Because nothing is new (“seen it” is the new creativity), this has been done before: Things that are the new black, This Is The New That, Cliches are the new cliche, In with the new…, and Something is the new something.
If you’re curious as to how this particular snowclone (snowclones are the new cliches) came about, Wikipedia (Wikipedia is the new Google) tells us (we are the new network):
The phrase is commonly attributed to Gloria Vanderbilt, who upon visiting India in the 1960s noted the prevalence of pink in the native garb. She declared that “Pink is the new black”, meaning that the color pink seemed to be the foundation of the attire there, much like black was the base color of most ensembles in New York.
India is the new pink.
Short review of New Partridge Dictionary of
Short review of New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English. “‘I like the cut of his jib’ resonates a lot differently than ‘shizzle my mizzle fizzle dizzle!’”
A new book called They Never Said
A new book called They Never Said That debunks some famous phrases that were never actually said by those that supposedly coined them. “Hundreds of pithy remarks from ‘Let them eat cake’ to ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’, turn out to be adaptations of comments that were more clumsy or more boring — or which were never said by those thought to have coined them.”
Peter Sellers doing various English accents
During an interview in support of the premiere of Dr. Strangelove, an unheard interviewer expresses surprise at Peter Sellers’ use of an American accent and asks him to use an English one. Here’s a video of Sellers trying to find an accent to the interviewer’s liking:
What is that, nine different completely plausible accents in 45 seconds? I love actors who can do accents well. Sellers is my favorite, but I also like Aussie Rachel Griffiths playing Californian Brenda in Six Feet Under and Brits Idris Elba & Dominic West (drug dealer Stringer Bell and officer Jimmy McNulty on The Wire). American actors often seem to have problems doing accents although Gwyneth Paltrow does a nice posh Londoner. We saw The Departed this weekend (really good, BTW), which takes place in Boston, always an accent minefield for actors. Locally grown Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon acquitted themselves quite well. The rest? Not so much. DiCaprio was alright, but the rest of the cast was tuning in and out like an old AM radio.
Typography language pedantry: font vs. typeface. “‘Fonts’
Typography language pedantry: font vs. typeface. “‘Fonts’ and ‘typefaces’ are different things. Graphic designers choose typefaces for their projects but use fonts to create the finished art.”
Jargon watch: dog whistle politics.
Jargon watch: dog whistle politics.
Update: The Double-Tongued Dictionary has more on the etymology of this phrase. (thx, grant)
Nobel Prize winning physicist Gerard ‘t Hooft
Nobel Prize winning physicist Gerard ‘t Hooft on how to become a good theoretical physicist. He lists the subjects you need to learn (from languages to quantum field theory) and resources (both online and off) for learning them. A note on the ‘t in his name.
If you need to read any literature
If you need to read any literature from Krypton (Superman’s home planet), here’s the 118 letter alphabet you’ll need to know.
Synecdoche, New York script
Jay Fernandez of the LA Times gets his hands on the screenplay for Charlie Kaufman’s new movie, Synecdoche, New York — which Charlie will also be directing (in the absence of Spike Jonze) — and loves it. “No one has ever written a screenplay like this. It’s questionable whether cinema is even capable of handling the thematic, tonal and narrative weight of a story this ambitious.” Incidentally, synecdoche.
David Sedaris, plagued as usual by language
David Sedaris, plagued as usual by language problems, has a taxing time at a French doctor’s office. “It’s funny the things that run through your mind when you’re sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.”
Is “dwarf planet” an ironym? “Pluto is
Is “dwarf planet” an ironym? “Pluto is a dwarf planet, but we are now faced with the absurdity that a dwarf planet is not a planet.” (thx, adriana)
Pluto mnemonic device contest results
After hearing the news that Pluto had been demoted from its full planetary status in the solar system, Meg and I decided to hold a contest to find a new mnemonic device for the planets, replacing the old “My very elegant mother just served us nine pizzas” (among others). The mnemonic could work for either the new 8 planet line-up, the 8 major + 3 dwarf planets, or the old 9 planet arrangement in protest of Pluto’s demotion. Thanks to everyone who entered; we received a bunch of great entries and it was hard to choose a winner. But first place goes to Josh Mishell for:
My! Very educated morons just screwed up numerous planetariums.
Josh’s protest mnemonic is memorable, topical, and goes beyond a simple description of the shameful proceedings in Prague to real-world consequences. As the winning entrant, Josh will receive a print from HistoryShots…we’re suggesting Race to the Moon. Congratulations to Josh.
Now, some runners-up. These came very close to winning:
Many Very Earnest Men Just Snubbed Unfortunate Ninth Planet (Dave Child)
“My vision, erased. Mercy! Just some underachiever now.” (Delia, as spoken by Pluto discoverer Clyde Tombaugh)
Most vexing experience, mother just served us nothing! (Bart Baxter)
There were several entries that referenced vegetarianism and veganism; this haiku by Evan Norris was my favorite:
most vegans envy
my jovian silhouette,
not usually
Update: A reader noted that Evan’s haiku incorrectly swaps the positions of Neptune and Uranus. Happily, “usually not” works just as well. (thx, peter)
The honorary mention for lack of sophistication goes to Andrea Harner and Jonah Peretti for:
Molesting Very Excitedly, Michael Jackson Sucks Underage Nipples
Best foreign language award goes to Bernardo Carvalho for his Portuguese mnemonic (remember, “Earth” is something like “Terra” in Portuguese so the t fits. And we’ll ignore the e too…):
minha velha, traga meu jantar: sopa, uva, nozes e pão (Translated: “Old woman, bring me dinner: soup, grapes, nuts and bread”)
And here are some of the best of the rest:
Mollifying voluminous egos means judiciously striking underappreciated named planetoid (Bruce Turner)
Most Virgins Eventually Marry Jocks So Unscrupulously Naughty (Aaron Arcello)
Morons Violate Every Map Just So UFOs Navigate Poorly (Sean Tevis)
My violin emits minimal joy since union nixed Pluto (C.D.)
Maximum velocity earns many joyous shouts, unless not planetary (Scott Tadman)
Thanks again to everyone who entered!
You’ve got about 4 hours left to enter
You’ve got about 4 hours left to enter the Pluto mnemonic device contest. We’re getting some great entries, but I know you will come up with something better.
Pluto not a planet anymore
Boo, astronomers, boo!!!
Astronomers meeting in the Czech capital have voted to strip Pluto of its status as a planet. About 2,500 experts were in Prague for the International Astronomical Union’s (IAU) general assembly. Astronomers rejected a proposal that would have retained Pluto as a planet and brought three other objects into the cosmic club. Pluto has been considered a planet since its discovery in 1930 by the American Clyde Tombaugh.
Screw this, what about all of Pluto’s mindshare? Now we’re going to need a new mnemonic device.
Update: Meg and I came up with a mnew mnemonic device in protest of the Pluto decision:
Man, very erroneous! Moronic jerks shouldn’t uninclude neat Pluto.
And you know what that means! Mnemonic device contest! Send in your best mnew mnemonic device for remembering the planets (either for the old 9 planets or the new 8 planets) and you’ll be entered to win an as-yet-unspecified prize. All entries must be sent with the subject line “Pluto mnemonic device contest” and must be received by 5pm ET today. I’ll publish the winners sometime soon. Contest update: Ok, pencils down, it’s 5pm and the contest has concluded. Judging will take place soon and the still-as-yet-unspecified prize will be awarded directly following.
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