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kottke.org posts about NSFW

Don’t text while driving

posted by Jason Kottke   Aug 17, 2009

This is why you shouldn’t text while driving. While you’re at it, knock it off with the phone conversations, lipstick application, and crossword puzzles. NSFW or for the faint-of-heart.

Men at their most masculine

posted by Jason Kottke   Aug 10, 2009

The Morning News has an interview with Chad States about his series of photographs of Men at Their Most Masculine. Some of the photos are NSFW.

I found all my subjects through Craigslist. I began by asking the question “Are you masculine?” in the heading. In the body of the posting I talked briefly about the project. Much to the effect of: “I am doing a photography project on masculinity. If you identify as being masculine, please get back to me.”

Masculinity seems to involve a lot of shirtlessness (and pantslessness). This one is kind of amazing.

“I am masculine because I abandon women after taking their love. Because when you study Freud, you don’t let him study you. Because I study philosophy, not literature.”

More of States’ masculinity photos can be found on his web site.

On her overlap

posted by Jason Kottke   Jul 17, 2009

Stephanie Brown

There’s a dynamic quality to this Moleskine sketch by Stephanie Brown that you don’t often see with such spare illustration. The rest of her stuff is worth a look as well…Flickr too. Somewhat NSFW. (via sex in art)

Topless waitresses

posted by Jason Kottke   Jun 18, 2009

Waiting Topless (NSFW) is a audio slideshow about a pair of waitresses who worked at the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in the small town of Vassalboro, Maine.

“Yes, I am a topless waitress, but I’m just a regular normal person in society,” Cunningham says. “I honestly don’t think in this economy right that there is a job out there that would pay roughly the same.”

The coffee shop recently burnt to the ground in a suspected arson.

Immersion: Porn by Robbie Cooper

posted by Jason Kottke   Jun 15, 2009

You may remember Robbie Cooper’s projects Alter Ego (photos of gamers and their in-game avatars) and Immersion (kids filmed with an Interrotron while playing video games). Cooper’s new project is like Immersion, except with people watching porn. The video stills can be found in the July issue of Wallpaper but an 18-minute video is available on their web site.

In a film of startling power and unsettling intimacy — produced exclusively for wallpaper.com — video artist and photographer Robbie Cooper shoots back at active porn aficionados lost in ecstatic release and hears how their passion developed. Be aware that this is not easy titillation and some of you may find the footage shocking. But the film does throw up any number of questions about voyeurism and exhibitionism and makes clear the incredible nakedness of the solo sex act.

NSFW because it turns out that watching people watching porn at the office is no easier to explain to your boss/co-workers than actually watching porn at the office.

Famous photos

posted by Jason Kottke   May 20, 2009

A nice selection of “photos that changed the world”. Warning: some of them are NSFW and/or disturbing/upsetting. The first photo on the web was new to me.

Back in 1992, after their show at the CERN Hardronic Festival, my colleague Tim Berners-Lee asked me for a few scanned photos of “the CERN girls” to publish them on some sort of information system he had just invented, called the “World Wide Web”. I had only a vague idea of what that was, but I scanned some photos on my Mac and FTPed them to Tim’s now famous “info.cern.ch”. How was I to know that I was passing an historical milestone, as the one above was the first picture ever to be clicked on in a web browser!”

Suck my Manhattan!

posted by Jason Kottke   Apr 20, 2009

If you don’t like this re-imagined NYC subway map, I’ll kick you in the Brooklyn. Somewhat NSFW. (via illustration art)

Banned album covers

posted by Jason Kottke   Apr 09, 2009

Thirty controversial album covers. I had forgotten about Nirvana’s “Waif Me”! A bit NSFW. (via design observer)

“Thank You, Vocoder”

posted by Ainsley Drew   Mar 27, 2009

“Vocoders are an instantly recognizable synthesizer sound, having been used in popular music since the 1960s. They allow you to ‘talk like a robot’, which while fun, is often not musically useful.”

This from “Introduction to Vocoders,” proves the point that the vocoder does not, in fact, turn a song into music. The voice analyzer/synthesizer system that was originally developed in the 1930s to facilitate early telephony has now become a seemingly inescapable accessory to popular music.

Rapper Ice Cube also awkwardly reflected on the negative effects of vocoders on rap:

“Records sales really not concerned to me as much as doing it my way. And doing the kind of records I want to do. Without some A&R dude trying to tell me to go find T-Pain and get you a voice box. Ya know, all this stupid stuff that they do that mess up a lot of records, mess up a lot of artists.”

This clip of T-Pain v. His Vocoder is the audio equipment equivalent of Stephen King’s Christine, and it certainly backs up Mr. Cube’s claim.

Update: Turns out that the actual device Mr. Pain uses to alter his voice box is referred to as an Auto-Tune, and it’s the weapon of choice for Cher, Kanye, and T-Pain, who seems just as oblivious as this author was. The two machines are entirely different.

Thx jason freeman

How to get out of a car without showing your knickers

posted by Jason Kottke   Jan 16, 2009

Good advice for Hollywood starlets, pop singers, and socialites: a video on how to get out of a car without showing your knickers. Slightly NSFW.

Balloon animal coitus

posted by Jason Kottke   Jan 15, 2009

This is NSFW if very squeaky balloon animal sex is not safe to view at your workplace. Unsafe perhaps, but hilarious. (via siege, also NSFW)

Missed conception

posted by Jason Kottke   Jan 13, 2009

Sperm travels up a dark tunnel and then…saying more would ruin the ending. Just watch:

I seriously LOL’d at the reveal. Slightly NSFW, I guess. (via house next door)

Update: The video was down earlier for some reason but now it’s back up.

Pixar spoof video

posted by Jason Kottke   Nov 13, 2008

Now that Luxo Jr. is 22 years old, he’s interested in more than just chasing beach balls around. NSFW if videos of animated masturbating household furnishings aren’t safe to view in your workplace. There are a bunch of other Pixar spoof videos featuring variations on the Pixar lamp…from “state of the art” in 1986 to “anyone with some 3-D animation software can upload to YouTube” in 2008.

Naked sushi modeling

posted by Jason Kottke   Oct 27, 2008

The confessions of a first-time naked sushi model.

As the reality of what I’d gotten myself into set in, I began to have doubts. Maybe my parents were correct and I was, in fact, an absolute loon. Who the fuck does this? Maybe I should have avoided the spicy food at lunch. What if these freaking booties cause my toes to cramp? What if I twitch my arms? What if I look terrible in this position? What if I can’t stop myself from laughing my ass off?

If you live in NYC, you can give the naked sushi thing a try. NSFW.

Bridal preparations

posted by Jason Kottke   Sep 11, 2008

T&A is not my usual schtick here, but I found these photos of brides in their underwear — most are pictured getting dressed for the ceremony — appealing for non-obvious reasons (the titillation factor here is almost zero unless you’re 12 years old). There’s something about the natural, unguarded informality of the preparation in comparison to the fussiness and solemnity of the ceremony itself…it makes the wedding part seem artificial. It’s also disturbing that all these intimate photos ended up online, likely without the consent of the undressed. Really NSFW.

True Blood titles

posted by Jason Kottke   Sep 09, 2008

I don’t know if I’m interested in watching the show or not, but we might have a new leader in the best TV show main title sequence: True Blood. By the same folks who did the Six Feet Under titles. Perhaps NSFW. (via quips)

Update: Maybe Digital Kitchen was influenced by a documentary called Searching for the Wrong Eyed Jesus in making the True Blood titles?

Unreleased 1972 Rolling Stones movie on YouTube

posted by Jason Kottke   Sep 09, 2008

In 1972, Robert Frank followed The Rolling Stones on their tour of North America and made a film called Cocksucker Blues. The title referenced a song written by the band as a fuck-you to their outgoing record label. The film was never released but bootleg copies exist…and a copy has inevitably found it’s way onto YouTube in nine parts (93 minutes total).

Part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, and part nine.

The quality is not very good but for hardcore Stones and music fans, it’s probably worth a look if you haven’t seen it. NSFW.

Kubrick porn knockoffs

posted by Jason Kottke   Aug 29, 2008

Panopticist has a quick round-up (with clips) of a few adult movies inspired by the films of Stanley Kubrick.

There have been several other porn films inspired by Kubrick’s oeuvre, including Spermacus, 2002: A Sex Odyssey, Thighs Wide Shut, and A Clockwork Orgy.

NSFW.

Penthouse corrections

posted by Jason Kottke   Aug 05, 2008

Corrections to last month’s letters to Penthouse Forum.

In the letter “And Wifey Makes Three,” the letter writer stated: “My wife was eager to engage in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.” The sentence should read: “My wife was disgusted, repulsed, and, in every imaginable way, opposed to the thought of engaging in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.”

NSFW if your default browser font is large enough to be read from several feet away.

Unnecessary censorship videos

posted by Jason Kottke   Jul 11, 2008

Will videos that bleep out ordinary words to make them seem profane always be funny? I hope so. Jimmy Kimmel’s Unnecessary Censorship was the first one that I saw…here are some others I’ve run across recently: Sesame Street’s The Count sings about how he loves to BLEEP, Barney the dinosaur talks dirty, Spongebob BLEEPing Squarepants, censored cartoons, more censored cartoons, and Cookie Monster BLEEPs the BLEEP.

Update: This commercial for Knorr is pretty good as well. (thx, oscar)

Dustin Humphrey photography

posted by Jason Kottke   Jul 09, 2008

Dustin Humphrey’s surfing/underwater photography is difficult to explain. Pro surfers + underwater naked steampunk maybe? NSFW. (via avenues)

Porn in hollowed-out books

posted by Jason Kottke   Jun 30, 2008

Unusual find at the thrift store: several hollowed-out books containing stashes of pornographic Poloroids. Somewhat NSFW. (thx, candy)

Clayton James Cubitt’s photographs of a manufactured

posted by Jason Kottke   Apr 01, 2008

Clayton James Cubitt’s photographs of a manufactured vagina.

Male to female transsexual. This is a manufactured vagina. A Neovagina.

This is genital origami, the cock cut open, carved and folded, crafted by techniques with names like Penile Inversion, the Suporn Technique, and the Wilson Method. The head of the cock morphs into the neoclit. In some methods the scrotal skin becomes the neovaginal canal.

I don’t know which methods were used in the creation of this particular neovagina, but surely this is art of the highest caliber. Sculpture in flesh tissue and nerve bundles.

Amazing and NSFW.

MovieStamper

posted by Jason Kottke   Mar 26, 2008

MovieStamper lets you permalink and tag your favorite movie scenes. For instance, check out the timestamps for The Departed or Office Space. (Oh, and I know you’re eventually going to click on the boobs tag, so here you go. NSFW.)

It’s all a bit proof of concept right now, but if people start using it in earnest, it could be a fantastic resource.

Update: Looks like the Moviestamper site is no more. The URL now links to a parked domain with ads so I removed the link. (thx, jeff)

Lindsey Lohan as Marilyn Monroe

posted by Jason Kottke   Feb 18, 2008

This photo shoot of Lindsey Lohan as Marilyn Monroe only serves to underscore how unlike (and inferior) Lohan is compared to Monroe. Lohan is the Meet the Spartans version of Monroe. Some of the originals are here, lots more thumbnails here. NSFW.

Update: Here’s an accompanying article. And Goldenfiddle had this to say:

This is, without a doubt, the saddest, stupidest, ugliest, most pointless thing ever. Bert Stern should be ashamed of himself.

Short interview with photographer Helmut Newton.

posted by Jason Kottke   Feb 12, 2008

Short interview with photographer Helmut Newton.

Q: Your about to be published autobiography stops in 1982. What have the readers missed?

A: Nothing! People who reach their goals are very uninteresting. What could I have written about the last 20 years? I met a lot of awfully boring Hollywood bimbos. I earned a lot of money. I fly only first class.

NSFW if tasteful nudes aren’t safe to view at your place of employ. Oh, and here’s another interview with Newton with a bit more about his work.

Long-exposure photo of two people having sex

posted by Jason Kottke   Jan 22, 2008

Long-exposure photo of two people having sex on a bed. (It’s mostly safe for work, believe it or not.) This reminds me of two things: the timelapse threesome scene in A Clockwork Orange and Jason Salavon’s work, specifically 76 Blowjobs and Every Playboy Centerfold. Those last tow links probably NSFW. (via the h line)

Update: Atta Kim’s work is similar too, particularly his “Sex Series”. (thx, jeff)

(I saw these mentioned in a few

posted by Jason Kottke   Jan 22, 2008

(I saw these mentioned in a few places online a week or two ago but could never get to the web site. Looks like the site is back up.)

Annnnnnnnnyway. Alison Jackson takes fake what-if paparazzi photos: George Bush pumping gas, Bill Gates dancing around with an iPod, and Marilyn Monroe masturbating. A bit NSFW. (via the year in pictures, a recent discovery that’s going right into the daily reading list)

Jessica Dimmock’s The Ninth Floor

posted by Jason Kottke   Dec 13, 2007

Jessica Dimmock’s The Ninth Floor is a series of photos taken of heroin addicts living in a ninth floor Manhattan apartment. The NY Times and New York magazine have slideshows with a little more context. Also available in book form. NSFW. (via clusterflock)

A timeline of human history (mostly sex

posted by Jason Kottke   Nov 08, 2007

A timeline of human history (mostly sex and violence) by Milo Manara. NSFW.