In 1997, Dell Computer CEO Michael Dell famously said of Apple:
I’d shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders.
Today, Michael Dell is part of a consortium giving the money back to the shareholders and taking Dell Inc. private.
Under the terms of the deal, the buyers’ consortium, which also includes Microsoft, will pay $13.65 a share in cash. That is roughly 25 percent above where Dell’s stock traded before word emerged of the negotiations of its sale.
Michael S. Dell will contribute his stake of roughly 14 percent toward the transaction, and will contribute additional cash through his private investment firm, MSD Capital. Silver Lake is expected to contribute about $1 billion in cash, while Microsoft will loan an additional $2 billion.
I’m sure you’ve heard. The guy that does those “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” TV commercials got busted here in NYC for buying pot in a kilt. I’m told the pot buying part is the illegal activity, not the kilt-wearing. Anyway, anyone with column inches in a magazine, newspaper, or weblog fell all over themselves trying to come up with the worst “dude, you’re getting…” jokes. A sampling for your “enjoyment”:
Dude, you’re getting a cell.
Dude, you’re getting off with a warning.
Dude, you’re getting arrested.
Dude, you’ve been busted.
Dude, you’re getting a blunt.
Dude, you’re getting a record.
Dude, you’re getting a rap sheet.
Dude, you’re under arrest.
Dude, you’re getting busted.
Dude, you’re getting some weed.
Dude, you’re getting lots of PR.
Dude, you’re getting a dime bag.
Dude, you’re getting off easy.
Dude, you’re getting raped in jail.
Dude, you’re getting a cavity search.
I’m sure everyone is just getting warmed up for when Ashton Kutcher gets nicked. I sense a thousand “Dude, where’s my pot?” jokes itching to escape word processors everywhere.