Here are some of the 5 word Webby speech suggestions I got from people. The one I've decided on is not on the list. My favorites are marked with an asterisk.
Anyone need a Web designer?
Greg Knauss should have won.
You people make me sick.
Every good boy does fine.
I didn't prepare a speech.
The Webbys are a crock.
Shop Amazon dot com...fuckers!
This one's for my homies.
Yellow and blue make green.
Thank you Jesuuuuus!!*
I'd like to thank Jebus.
If I wasn't so high on crack, I'd count my words.*
Thanks for nothing, assholes!
Much better than actual respect.
Hello? Is this thing on?*
Fools! Release the giant robot!*
De gustibus non est disputandum.
Kottke: more rock, less talk.
This speech has five words.
Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants.*
Screw it. Who wants pie?
Bees! Bees in my hair!
I'm king of the world!
Paying off the judges worked.*
Thank you, you old bastards.
Thanks! I totally deserve this!
Free Tibet! Down with China!
I am the Web god.
Hot dish is on me!
See you in hell, fuckers.*
The Web is about people.*
Fuck I'm good! Damn good.
Five words is not enough.
I am not a pipe.*
Thank you. Purple monkey dishwasher.
You really really like me.
Nice to see you, Bob!
Whoa! Is this real gold?
Only five words? Well, shit.
Fame is a filthy whore.
A friend of mine and I were discussing phrases like "artsy fartsy" and "hoity toity" and wondering a) if that sort of rhyming phrase had a name, and b) if there were more of them that we didn't know about. I should have known the answers were available on the Web. Words like that are called reduplicates and some of my favorites (found here, scroll down to the bottom) include dilly-dally, fuddy-duddy, higgledy piggledy, hurly-burly, and namby-pamby.
Related to reduplicates is Cockney rhyming slang, one of my favorite "features" of the English language. I'd start using it in daily conversation, but I fear that no one would know what the hell I was talking about, which, according to the explanation of what Cockney rhyming slang is, was probably the point.
I finished judging all of the finalists in the 5K Award contest last night. If you've got some time, you really should take some time and look through all the entries...there's some really great stuff there.
Being John Malkovich was as good the second time around as it was the first. Lots of layers expertly woven. Oh, and it's only Spike Jonze's first movie.
My current favorite song is Toca Me by Fragma. Makes me feel all floaty and dancey.
In other news, this poll has determined, once and for all, that design is all about communication. Great, we can finally stop arguing.
Thanks to everyone who sent in 5 word speeches yesterday...they were all pretty good. I will be posting my favorites here at some point, when I get the time. Predictably, many submissions included the phrase "purple monkey dishwasher".
Another idea I had for the 5 word speech is to sell it as ad space. I mean, talk about a desirable target audience; you'd think that Amazon would pay me a few thousand dollars to stand up in front of 2000 backslash-dot-com-all-day-long people at the Webbys and say: "Shop at Amazon dot com". Then again, that would make me feel dirty.
The oh-so-smart Steve Champeon on XSS, Trust, and Barney, a discussion of misguided trust on the Web (like when you let people post HTML to your site through forms). And just to prove his point, he then hacked the last page of his article, resulting in a little Barney with your Monkey.
Of course, for me, a link to kottke.org on Webmonkey is a lot more fun.
I don't know if the use of the images in the Elian/Wassup parody (read the back story on this here and here) is copyright infringement or not, but the Associated Press is not being very flexible about this. So, I'm posting a copy of the Flash file on kottke.org and suggest that whomever wants to do the same. (and I'm aware that this isn't that funny, but it's the principle of the thing)
Spring is in the air and that means leafy green Web sites are popping up all over the Web. Case in point is the new green-tinted Megnut design. I am currently enjoying all the whitespace and the added (non-weblog) content. Perhaps this will spur others to think of their sites not just as weblogs, but as Web sites with a weblog component. That other shit is important too, you know.
Side note: it really isn't a personal Web site redesign these days without Silkscreen, is it? ;)
In the (somewhat unlikely) event that I actually win something at the Webbys, I would need to amble up on stage and give a 5 word acceptance speech, as is the custom. I have a few ideas for the 5 words I would say, but nothing I really like yet. Do you have any suggestions? Update: lots of good 5 word speeches so far, including my personal favorite: "See you in hell, fuckers!" Keep them coming.
Recently viewed movies: Contact (for the third time, always good, made me read the book again soon after), Kingpin (both better and worse than I thought, started fast, ended slow), and Bowfinger (really pretty good).
I also finally saw Code Rush. It was shorter and fluffier than I wanted, but it was still interesting. I find it fascinating how people come to think of a company as their life when, in fact, business has little interest in you or your life. Or maybe they knew that all along and were trying to fool themselves for a bit while they became rich. I'd like to think that I would know better, but I don't know if I would.
I recently changed the default font on my computer from MS Sans Serif to Verdana. It's like getting a new OS. You should try it.
Fer crying out loud, would everyone please stop panicking? Don't you realize that breaking up Microsoft would be a good thing in the long run? More competition? Two little Microsofts pushing everyone (and each other) to excel? I don't see what the problem is here. Stop thinking so damn short term. Jebus.
Redwoods, beachfronts, and tea gardens, oh my!
I actually missed my headphones. Or maybe it was the music.
The Webbys are drawing closer; kottke.org is nominated in the personal catagory, and I will be attending the festivities in SF on May 11. If you want, you can vote for my site in the People's Voice Awards...or vote for the site of your choice.
People are always spouting off with definitive answers about what design is....except that everyone has a different take on it. Well, we're going to settle this issue here and now...we're going to find out what design is all about. Vote for your choice below or simply view the results. One vote only please.
Gee, I wonder how accurate this "survey" is going to be, considering the site it's on. Wouldn't it be fun if Blogger won? Bees! Bees in my hair!
"Waste" 20 minutes of your life by playing with this gravity applet. Oh. So. Cool. (via boingboing)
Tired: saying "natch" instead of "naturally". Wired: saying "naturally" or "of course".
Tired: cryptic posts to one's Web site that only one or two people understand. Also Tired: complaining about what other people post on *their* Web sites. Wired: not posting anything at all to one's Web site.
Tired: Metafilter. Wired: also Metafilter. What can I say....it's a love/hate thing.
A while ago, hell.com, an elite design collective, moved their site over to no-such.com, claiming that they wanted to start fresh with a "lower profile" (source: rhizome.org). I wonder if the fact that their domain name could fetch nearly $8 million at auction influenced their decision any? Hopefully, that windfall, instead of being pocketed, will be invested back into the no-such group of designers, freeing them to dazzle us with their efforts.
Listen up, people. I got the Pretty Park worm (similar to a virus) from four different people today. If you get an email with an attachment named "Pretty Park.exe" that has a South Park icon associated with it, DO NOT execute the file (i.e. don't double-click on it). If you have already done so, you need to visit this page for instructions on how to purge this damn thing from your computer. And, just as a general rule of thumb, don't open ANY *.exe files that people send you.
Guess what? The stock market didn't crash last week. We're not in a depression or even a recession. A week does not a bear market make. Stop being so damn melodramatic.
The reports of my retirement are greatly exaggerated. I discovered that $7 doesn't go as far as it used to; my spending spree came to an abrupt halt when I came up $49,993 short on the purchase of a new Porsche Boxster. Oh well, the search for prosperity continues.
All my patience and hard work has finally paid off. In the $70+ million Powerball drawing yesterday, I beat the staggering 1:207 odds and won $7. Can you believe it? In addition to quitting my job (first thing tomorrow!), I also see no need to keep writing stuff here. After all, this weblog writing style blows, right? So long, suckers!
Deepleap has launched. Basically, Deepleap is a Web app (meaning that it requires no installation of anything on your computer...it runs over the Web) that helps you out while you're surfing. It keeps track of your bookmarks, helps you shop, converts sites to Palm format, and all sorts of other stuff. And you can be one of the first (and therefore coolest) kids on the block by making your site Deepleapable (is that a word?). Mmmm....metadata....
Mucca santa! Mr. T on a bike! Someone over at Openlog posted a link to kottke.org that has been pitied by Mr. T, translated into Italian by Babelfish, and run through Ask Jesus.
Finally, something worthwhile to read on Eli...um...that boy who needs to go back to Cuba: it seems he was traded for a hard-throwing right hander. "A child's freedom is a small price to pay for starting pitching."
Somehow, this is now my personal mission statement: "Jason brings oatmeal where there is no oatmeal."
I can't remember where I found this, but it makes me laugh...probably a little too much. It's safe sex. Get it? Huh? Do ya?
Ariana is leaving Minneapolis for warmer climes and greener pastures. I'm feeling this mind-suckingly fierce peer pressure to follow her or to flee to SF for big money, stock options, and the startup limelight.
Taylor, late of Webmonkey fame, is running a weblog as a part of Captain Cursor. Good reading....I love folks who understand both design and technology, but who don't think about it in those terms. Design + technology just *is*...you shouldn't have to make a conscious effort to "marry" the two.
One of my favorite Web folk of yore, Haidi, now has her own domain at haidi.org. That reminds me, I'm terribly far behind on email correspondence...
My old pal Mouser is building a railgun. Yes, like the one in Quake. The railgun will work by generating a magnetic field which will then project a metal slug out of the barrel at high speed. Pretty damn cool.
I still get lots of email about Silkscreen, my teeny tiny screen font. People are using it on personal sites, sites for clients, and for print stuff as well. It's nice running across sites that use Silkscreen that I was previously unaware of. And since people have been asking, here are some links to some free fonts that are similar to Silkscreen: www.04.jp.org, ROTORtype, and WPDFD Typography.
One site I've been reading a lot of lately is gmtPlus9. Intelligent, some great links, and a different (i.e. non-American) perspective, which is very refreshing these days. A couple of links pilfered from gmtPlus9: William Shatner singing Rocketman at the 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards (my Shatner obsession is proving insatiable) and The Skeptic's Dictionary.
"Nekkei news reported that the Japanese DVD market has expanded by 60% since the launch of Playstation 2, about 60% of the PS2 owners have purchased more than 3 DVD movies for the month, and 30% have rental DVD movies in major video rental shops, and 15% of the PS2 owners are mainly using the system as a DVD movie player." PS2 is going to be huge here in America. Huge. And it looks like it's going to take DVD with it into the stratosphere. (info from Justin).
Yay! Yay! Yay! Princess Mononoke will soon be out on DVD.
I'm enjoying looking through all the nifty 5K Award entries, but I've taken a shine to Jorn's unfinished Book of Genesis.
Thanks to all those who responded to my fashion question yesterday. The answer I was looking for was supplied by Rafe and Loren: "à la page". I couldn't find anything further about the term on the Web (Google, for once, let me down), but it sure rings a bell. Other terms that people came up with were "monochromatic", "tone-on-tone", "really lame", "subdued, high-class gangster cool" (if you're Robert DeNiro in Casino), and "dressing
like Regis". One person even wrote in to say that back in the day, a white shirt/tie/jacket/belt/shoes combination was called "a full Cleveland". That one is my favorite...and, curiously, documented on the Web (scroll halfway down the page).
Well, this is certainly old news: women are people too! Guh. I don't know, when I read articles like these (written by a man, of course), they always come off as "women, despite their obvious technological shortcomings, are coming online in droves...and thriving! Look at 'em go, they're so darn spunky!" What a load of crap. And then you post something like that to Slashdot, and you get comments like "Yay! More geek chicks!", which, I agree, is great, but given the forum in which that comment is made, it comes off as a bunch of male construction workers hooting at any passing female.
Why am I so anal about writing HTML and not using tabs or spaces in my code? Because some browsers have issues with whitespace. Today, these browsers are in general disuse, but there are still some minor problems with the latest browsers and whitespace (mostly because Netscape sucks).
You know when you wear an outfit with a black tie on a black shirt with a black coat? Or a white tie on a white shirt with a white coat? What's that called? There's a fashion term for it that is escaping me and all attempts to uncover it with a Web search. Any ideas?
They're tearing up the wall around the elevators on our floor in the building I work in (which used to be the John Deere factory here in Mpls). In the process, they've exposed the building's original brick wall, still bearing John Deere's "Quality Implements" tag line, painted in really bold, black letters across the wall. A co-worker of mine, not wanting them to build something modern and crappy over the wall (again), has put up a "Save The Wall" petition...and people are actually signing it. Not that it will do any good, but still.
I've been thinking about customization some more...and I can't decide whether it is good or bad. Which is stupid because nothing is truly either good or bad...it's all shades of grey, or in the case of this Web site, shades of yellow. I'm totally in favor of customization if it benefits the user somehow: if it helps them understand the application better, if they can increase the type size to help them read better, if they can complete their tasks faster; if they can get more joy out of their MP3 player by staring at Britney Spears' breasts when they're working the controls (if you know what I'm saying).
On the other hand, you've got applications like Mozilla where the interface to the application could conceivably be different on each site that you visit. I mean, good God, do we really need that? Is that helpful to me? I already have to learn a different interface for each site on the Web...and now I need to relearn the application with which I am browsing the site? Um, no thank you.
I don't know, I'm having a hard time on what to think about all of this. On the one hand, it's nice giving people what they want (e.g. the Burger King "have it your way"), but then I think that with some things, Joe User isn't going to come up with a better way to do things than a good designer (would you want people designing their own hammers or circular saws?). Mark me down as undecided for now.
I know, I know. My metaphors suck. In fact, that should be the new tag line of this site: "kottke.org: home of crappy metaphors".
Suck's piece on skins is so right on it hurts me....and I thought so even before I saw that Greg had written it. I have more thoughts on how customization and user controlled interfaces on the Web are not always such a good idea, but work beckons.
Judging has begun in the 5K Award contest and a partial listing of the entries are available on the contest site. This is going to be hard. For those that are in the final running, bribes are still being accepted. ;)
Hee hee. Cheyne drew me a purple monkey dishwasher. Clicking on the thumbnail will get you a bigger version of the drawing. Very cool.
Writing here would be so much easier if I were given topics. That's why I like the {fray}: a new topic arrives periodically (like the recent "what's the stupidest thing you did as a kid?"), and I get to prattle on about it.
It's my dad's birthday today. Happy birthday, Dad.
On the personification of numbers:
- Supposedly, 1 is the loneliest number. But wouldn't 0.5 be half as lonely as 1? And what about poor little 0.00032? He's so lonely that he's hung himself by now.
- 7 is lucky. Then 14 must be twice as lucky, right?
- 13 is unlucky. 26 is twice as unlucky?
- But what about the number 91? 7x13=91. Is 91 13 times luckier than 7 or 7 times more unlucky than 13?
In celebration of Amazon's most recent redesign, Dack presents Amazon 2001. How much longer before Amazon becomes the Web version of everyone's favorite piece of bloated software?
There's a lot of cool DHTML out there, but the stuff over at assembler.org is a bit different. It's designed to work cross-platform, and Brent coded the whole thing from "first principles", using only a text editor and a DHTML book for reference...no code pilfering or anything. In the days where a redesign is only a view-source away, that's pretty impressive. And one more thing: Megaman!
This NY Times article on superstrings is most interesting, with multiple universes, metaverses, multi-dimensional spacetime, and the like. Superstrings are little vibrating packets of energy which are hypothesized to make up everything in the universe. How little exactly? According to a graphic accompanying the story, the size of a string compared with the size of an atom is the same as the size of an atom compared with the size of the solar system. That's pretty small.
Nude pictures of Jenni from JenniCam are up for auction on eBay....and are already up to $620. If you think that's strange, her bed is also up for auction....but you need to bid higher than $2,760.00. (!!!) I guess owning a bed that people have seen other people having sex in is pretty important to some folks.
Everyone is all concerned about what will happen to the stock market if Microsoft get broken up. I don't get it. If Microsoft gets broken up, there will be two or three smaller, more nimble Microsofts running around, each of which will have the market cap of the original company in five years or less. And no big Microsoft means more competition in the marketplace, and competition is good for business, right? I really don't see the need for concern.
And anyway, why doesn't someone come up with a creative solution to punish Microsoft....like them open sourcing their browser or something. Are you listening, Tim? You could make something like this happen. At the very least, it would make an interesting discussion.
A very interesting article in New Scientist about the possibility of miniature black holes being at the center of "dark matter" atoms. The article basically describes these little black holes as being charged particles that are able to interact with other charged particles in unique ways.
Saw a couple movies recently: Stigmata and Hard Eight. Stigmata was obviously directed and edited by someone who had been watching too much MTV...all the quick-cutting and Profiler-style flashes made me dizzy and contributed nothing to the story or feel of the movie. Clumsy.
Hard Eight, on the other hand, was very good....and even better with the director's commentary. My respect and admiration for P.T. Anderson grows each time I see one of his movies. P.T., if you're out there, I wanna be just like you when I grow up.
Speaking of P.T., he uses a lot of "three name" actors in his films:
Philip Baker Hall
John C. Reilly
Samuel L. Jackson
William H. Macy
Philip Seymour Hoffman
"Marky" Mark Wahlberg
I added a (somewhat annotated) listing of archives to kottke.org. Now you can skip back to the different months without having to cycle through all of them. I was going to add a calendar-type thingie to the bottom of each "notes" page on the site, but then I thought, "why would anyone need to get to my scribblings for July 1998 from every page on the site?" Now I'm wondering why other sites do it that way....
My pal Mouser would probably have nothing whatsoever to do with this MIT non-hack. He's never even heard of Godel, Escher, Bach, or Magritte.
I had no idea there was an official Rubik's Cube site. You can even order a brand-new Cube, solve the Cube, or check out the history of the Cube online. Poking around the rest of the site, I discovered that the world record time for solving the Cube is 16.5 seconds and that there was a "Rubik, The Amazing Cube" TV show on Saturday mornings that I remember watching. You may also buy an original, still-in-the-box Rubik's Cube on eBay.
When I was in high school, I gave a presentation on black holes, wormholes and time travel for my physics class. There weren't many people in the class who had ever heard of wormholes and the like, but it was neat to see people who normally wouldn't be interested in such things asking questions about it and trying to get their minds around 4-dimensional spacetime. I wanted to scream at them: "See, science *is* fun and interesting!"
To all those who decided not to pull an April Fools joke today: thank you.
Twernt has a "which heretics rock the hardest?" poll going on his site. Hee hee.
Tomorrow, April 2, is the last day to enter the 5K Award contest. Entries must be in by 5pm PST. I'm really looking forward to seeing what people came up with. Should be fun.
I have no idea what Mark is talking about. Honestly. That's *my* design, I did it, it's all mine. That being said, Mark, if certain photos of a certain person would find their way onto the Web somehow (not to mention spread through Usenet), that would certainly be a shame, wouldn't it?
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