Advertise here with Carbon Ads

This site is made possible by member support. 💞

Big thanks to Arcustech for hosting the site and offering amazing tech support.

When you buy through links on kottke.org, I may earn an affiliate commission. Thanks for supporting the site!

kottke.org. home of fine hypertext products since 1998.

Beloved by 86.47% of the web.

🍔  💀  📸  😭  🕳️  🤠  🎬  🥔

The Joy and Pain of Learning New Things as an Older Human

From an excerpt of his new book, It’s Only Drowning (Amazon), David Litt writes about the frustrating and humiliating experience of learning how to surf at the age of 35.

Yet I didn’t quit. I returned to the dog beach twice more the week of my first solo session, and four more times the week after that. I could count my total number of successful pop-ups on my fingers, so it wasn’t the rush of riding waves that kept me coming back. It was something deeper. During each surf session I felt frustrated, exhausted, humiliated, terrified, depleted, confused, and sore — but never depressed. While flailing in pursuit of whitewater may not have been fun, it was something different to think about. It paused the spin cycle in my mind.

I started mountain biking almost 5 years ago, at the age of 46. The sport is not so geared towards young learners as surfing, but it presents sufficient physical challenges and danger for the older human that feeling “frustrated, exhausted, humiliated, terrified, depleted, confused, and sore” is guaranteed. But also: exhilarated, fulfilled, happy, and engaged. While my cardio could still use some work, I’m no longer terrible at mountain biking and continue to improve, which is both a source of satisfaction at my progression and hunger to keep getting better.

See also: To Air Is Human and The Joy of Fortnite.

Comments  23

Sort by: thread — thread . latest . faves

F
FranP

I started curling at the age of 43, and I have now competed nationally at the club level. I started lifting weights at 50, and I can now squat 165 lbs and deadlift 200 lbs. You're never too old to try learning something new!

C
Charles Guimont

Similarly, I started climbing - mostly bouldering - in my late 40's. Ten years on it is still frustrating and humbling and satisfying - and substantially, completely divorced from almost all the rest of my life.

G
Gregsfamous

Tennis at age 54. I'm almost 58 now and still a struggling 2.5 (beginner).

C
Caroline G.

I learned to ski at 35 and loved being a beginner. It was so satisfying to feel myself getting better every time I went out. The tough part was after the second year or so when I stopped being a beginner and started to get down on myself for no longer improving at the same rate. Ego is such a bitch.

N
Nat C

Speaking of humiliation, I learned to swim at age 40! It took about a year of lessons to not feel panicky in the water and another year to actually enjoy it... Sixteen years on, I'll still never feel 100% comfortable in the water like people who learned to swim as kids, but I can swim a mile (pretty slowly, but with decent form) and am damn proud of myself.

A
Allister Banks

My SUP and surfing experiences were in my 30's and totally fun, am also planning to get back into tennis after a ~30 year break. I love the mental model of tennis - a 2d plane with which you put 'english' on the incoming and smack it, transform the energy into a negated vector. Like the part we complained about the most when I was a carpenter was being told to move pile of wood from one area to another or *gasp* re-stack it, but you could tell you made a dent afterwards.

P
Phil Wells

Piano at 43. Still drilling the first scale in the lineup, C Major. The intervals are a piece of cake but the fingerings are a little devious. One loose plan is to survive AI career takeover as long as possible then take up residence at a piano bar, doing jazzy covers of my pop punk playlist.

E
Emily F

Boxing at 40, after never hitting another human in my life and not exercising at all in my 30s (started a business, got married, gestated/birthed a baby, and had some low-key abdominal surgeries during that decade instead). For the first 6mos, I was basically curled up in a puddle of my own sweat on the floor by the end of every class, trying not to vomit. (And I was an athlete in my youth, so this was especially humbling for me!) But I stuck with it and it's been the most empowering, fun, stress-busting thing ever!

K
Kim D.

54 and learning Hindi - it's coming together so well for me this time. I've dabbled with Hindi in the past but would quit when it got hard. I'm confident my Hindi isn't "Peggy Hill Spanish".

W
Warren S.

54 and learning to paint. We are surrounded by master level paintings/images (and Midjourney is no slouch either), it is a humbling endeavor.

K
Kris Obertas

I painted in college, was making progress, then graduated got busy with life and quit after a hard pivot to photography back when developing and printing your own was a thing. Regretted not painting and it's been calling me ever since. Time to pick up brushes again!

B
Brian Woolsey

On May 16th of this year I headed to a park and started my new thing: Unicycling. I’m 68 years old. Here’s what I texted to a friend, a former cross country and track buddy:

“…Unicycling is the first thing like running in a long time. It's both fun and rewarding. Jumping rope and rowing are rewarding, not quite fun. I can do it on my own, so no needing someone else to show up. And because I'm at the beginning, I can see steady improvement and have no prior history to compare to. Pretty perfect”

Before May 16th, and after the death of a 70-year-old friend and a 23-year-old college student I was close with, idle times would find my mind turning toward gloom. Now those idle moments bend toward the last time and the next time I practice unicycle. I can go four whole wheel rotations now — and all of life feels more joyful

M
Marco C

I started learning the cello with instruction two years ago at age 43. I started long-distance gravel biking two months prior to that. Last week I went to a chamber music camp in the woods and brought both.

B
Bob Walicki

This is awesome. Great link. I know I mentioned taking up ice hockey in the past two years (having never done it before). I play once or twice a week. I also ride my bike to and from work now (with a train mixed in).

I'm 49 and I think it is paying dividends as we all (my family) compared heart rates during some gnarly hikes on vacation this week. Climbs are like shifts.

K
Kelly Mcclain

Running at 47. It was tough for a few years, but I love it. I try to do something new every year (just started swinging a golf club) or learn something new (this year has been AI). I love reading the comments to see what other people are doing! I am already planning ahead to learn guitar in a few years when my kids are out of the house...

K
Kris Obertas

Started SUPing over ten years ago. Fell constantly, spent a lot of time in the water and climbing back on the board. Can confidently say I'm near expert in my local waters and conditions now after hundreds of board hours. Didn't fall in once last year even with challenging waves/swells over four feet. Seek those days out now for the fun even if you can't get far! Also overstepped my limits and got my ass kicked on bigger wave storm days. But love getting out on the water year round, even when the water is freezing.

K
Kris Obertas

Further thoughts...I tend to over-ruminate. Just turned 64 and pushing the comfort zone by trying new (or reviving former) things is part of my mindset. You have to be ok with failing, possibly looking/being weak or bad at something, and yet willing to keep going because you know It Will Get Better. At this point I care less about how people perceive what I'm doing. Validation is nice, but not what drives me. It's that feeling of making progress by my own internal measurements and the joy I get from doing the things that is the reward.

K
KitchenBeard Edited

I love learning and trying new things. Just started training for a 5k run with the intent to run at least a half marathon within 2 years. Going to back to school to get more certifications. Continuing my studies into belle epoque haute cuisine. Just because I'm pushing 60 doesn't mean I want to ever stop learning new things.

T
Terry Madeley

Cello at 53. Dear me! Also, this from Michael Mosley, our sadly recently departed national treasure, on doing this particular 'just one thing' to improve your health and wellbeing: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2BbTZpLDPDcvKVPjmcSN38K/michael-mosley-learn-an-instrument-to-boost-your-brain-power

C
Claire

I love reading these! Learning new things at all ages is part of my family culture, I've realized recently. I'm taking my first ever art class (Drawing I) at 31 and am a few months out from my beginning ukulele class. My dad, 61, just started taking piano lessons. My grandma started learning Spanish at 60 and still takes lessons for upkeep at 85. Two years ago she started learning ukulele and now plays in her church and with a community group. This year she's started watercolor painting.
Learning is the icing on the cake of life.

J
Jason F

Hockey at 42. Biggest surprise was how many other 40-somethings were also just starting out and how much organized support there was for us - adult clinics, leagues, drop-in sessions.

P
Patrick Brown

I LOVE picking up new hobbies. It's the fun part of the learning curve (and the peak of the dunning-krueger effect curve). Disc golf at 41, banjo at 43 and guitar at 44. I've always assumed it was related to my personality. Same with work, I love to start new projects. Organizing my thoughts on the how and why of a problem are 'fun' part for me.

P
Peter Lin

At 50-ish, I began to study taijiquan ("tai chi"). At 70-ish, I began to share with others (while continuing to work with a teacher).

This thread is closed for new comments & replies. Thanks to everyone for participating!