For his 50th birthday I treated my husband to a long weekend in south Florida, including a day trip to Key West. It was very low key. Years later, for mine he whisked me away to Chicago for a long weekend and a dinner at Alinea (he was definitely more flush for my 50th than I was for his!). We spent the following year marveling at our luck -- we were house-bound for my 51st and his 65th in 2020!

I don't believe I've ever attended a 50th birthday party, and hearing that this is a Thing amazes me.

I turned 50 in 2019 during the worst professional time of my career. My wife and I discussed taking a nice trip in 2020, but then, you know. I did have a nice dinner at the local go to steakhouse at least. I turn 55 in July. Maybe we'll do something nice.

I haven’t seen anything like that. My own 50th was very low-key: I cooked a big dinner for my family (but purely dishes that I wanted). I’ve been to another birthday that was a 50-year-old’s version of late ’90s clubbing, which was also just right. My next data point is coming up; hopefully I won’t have to amend my answer.

My 50th is next month. I love wilderness backpacking, and my wife has been suggesting I take one of my dream trips this year. We've also been talking about renting a room at a local brewpub and having people gather -- we did that for my 40th, and it was nice (nothing broken, no nihilism that I remember). On the other hand, we went to Ford Field yesterday and were thrilled to watch the Lions win a ticket to the conference championship, and on the way home my wife asked if that could be my 50th birthday present (she said I might not want to ask how much those tickets cost...)

Anecdotally? A lot of the people that I know who have reached fifty have run all out of cares to give about many things, and that manifests in different ways for different folks.

I see the 50s as an entrance to a more-fully-realized self, one that has shed the constraints of cool after leaving behind the mournful-of-what-was forties. For folks of a gentler, more introspective stripe, that manifests in quietude and acceptance - no longer needing to chase externalities for identity, their behavior is governed by their peace.

For those whose inner demon was yoked by the opprobrium of society, well, then that cork seems to be out too.

And, of course, a vast universe between.

In spring 2021 my neighbor did a blow-out big 50th birthday, a rented tent for a backyard "covid safe" event. They partied hard until well past midnight... might've been pent up covid confinement "I'm going to party now". a few months later my own 50th was a quiet evening out for a fantastic meal. When the Mr. turned 50 we treated about 50 friends to brunch at his favorite bar "to introduce American's to day drinking" (he's a Brit). Was a very fun afternoon but not a rager by any means.

Might be partially a geography thing — the events place mentioned in the article is in Scotland, and the Scots have a well-deserved reputation for partying hard. (Full disclosure: I’m English, but I say this with genuine affection for my northern neighbours.)

Hah - my 50s was when I had Long Covid and was a fairly relaxed affair with good friends in my garden. Would I have had a riotous boozy do if I could? Not sure...

I'm 77, hard to remember.

For my 50th I rented out my favorite cocktail lounge for the afternoon and had a hosted bar. My damn family decided to get drunk the night before, so about half the expected heavy drinkers were too hung over to do anything memorable. Also, by then several of my former serious drinking friends had been forced to cut back by the realities of aging.

Sadly we didn't manage to rack up enough of a bar bill to cover the minimum, but lord knows we tried -- by the end they were serving flights of premium Scotch. Somewhere I've got a picture of the bartender holding up a receipt as long as his arm.

Somewhere in between 49 and 50 I will become older than my father ever was (he died of brain cancer four months before he hit the big five-oh). For me, my 50th birthday just gonna be weird. Can't imagine doing anything wild, unless "wild" is renting a small cabin on a lake and just staring at some mountains for a long weekend.

yeah its the first hint of NOTHING MATTERS FROM THIS POINT. With each passing decade, that feeling intensifies, but we do less damage. So, the 50th is kind of local maximum.

Long time reader, first time poster. As one who has a history of over-thinking birthday planning/guest lists, I took a different route for my 50th. My wife, twin 14 year olds and two friends spent the June weekend camping and back-country skiing. The thing to know: I'd never back-country skied. But the snow depth was nuts that year, the Sierras were/are beautiful and trying something new seemed like a great way to mark my 50th. That was six years ago and remains one of my great birthday memories.

I read that piece a couple days ago, too, and kind of shook my head. My 50th was very quiet, just a dinner with my spouse. A few weeks later I did a solo trip to NYC to celebrate (a weekend without the kid!) and walked something like 40 km in 3 days, treated myself to a spa & a massage, a very nice solo sushi dinner, "A Doll's House" with Jessica Chastain, and the Cloisters. Nothing broken, no drunken debauchery or nihilism, but it was lovely. I feel wiser at 50 and more tuned into the world and the moments around me, not nihilistic.

That said, I also didn't have a hen party for my wedding, either, and really detested seeing the British stag and hen parties loose on the streets of Prague when I was there 8 and 15 years ago, ruining the experience for everyone else. I think the drunken debauchery is more a British thing?

When I turned 50 my wife took one small but highly effective step to ensure the festivities wouldn't get out of hand: she invited my Mom.

I'm 50 as of today, and have no plans for any sort of debauchery or manic nihilism. While I do want to treat the day like just another Tuesday, I do feel a kind of psychic weight to the milestone. I'll just ponder that quietly, along with the memento mori aspect of the thing.

As for celebration, my S.O. treated me to a memorable omakase dinner this past weekend to mark the occasion. It was just the two of us, and that's alright by me.

My 50 came smack in the middle of Covid, so it was a veeeery low key family affair. Less important to me than making it through 52 this year, since that is the age when my father died. I'll celebrate when I reach 53.

My 50th was in the spring of 2020. A lot of friends also turned 50 that year (or then next), and we talked about doing bigger blowouts for 51... then 52... but nobody really had the motivation to do anything. Now sometimes I feel like I snuck into my 50s, or like maybe it didn't actually happen?

First, happy 50th Jason! I hope it was a great one.

What's your go-to cocktail these days?

When I enter a bar, I'm giving my life over to anything that contains citrus and gin. Or anything served with a side car, because it's nice to have something extra *waiting* for me.

I turn 50 in a little over a month. I don't think we will be breaking anything. I bought myself a big lego set for my birthday last year. Maybe I will finally get started on that.

I turned 50 just over two years ago. I asked my wife not to make a fuss because I’ve never made a big deal about my birthday and to me 50 was just another number.

That said, while there was no manic nihilism, my fiftieth year was the most consequential of my life. I’ve recently been acutely aware of the concept attributed to Confucius, that a person has two lives, the second begins when you realize you only have one.

In part I attribute this to aging, but I also think the pandemic was an important factor. Lockdowns made me realize how much of my life was wasted commuting to a job that I was good at, but didn’t love.

I’ve been a hobbyist photographer for about 20 years, shooting mostly landscape and street, but was always intimidated by flash photography. So during lockdown I found some online resources, ordered some lights online and, with my wife and daughters as models learned how to shoot in studio.

As the lockdowns subsided and I turned 50, I connected with some models and reinvented myself as a portrait photographer. For anyone curious about what midlife reinvention looks like, here’s a link to my work, all created in the last 2 years.

http://www.timgerdes.com

"have you noticed any 50th birthday craziness in your lives"
The first local pandemic lockdown was called 5 days before mine, does that count?

I turned 50 in September of 2022, and took advantage of a "free bar rental for patreon supporters" offer from one of my local spots that went partially-closed during the pandemic and solicited help from regulars/supporters. I had friends from Chicago and NJ staying with me, and a dozen+ local friends came out to enjoy our free 6-9pm rental, and then some stayed to hit up another spot until it closed at midnight (weekday birthday).

The plan was not to get too crazy, but the next afternoon I took some hilariously hungover photos of my houseguests and myself. One of them had been thinking about quitting drinking, and indeed he decided that night was to be his official final night of alcohol.