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posted by Jason Kottke  ·  gift link

Alternate Indy 4 script

From an abridged script for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:

PRODUCER FRANK MARSHALL immediately proves his commitment to using CGI “only when necessary” by featuring completely necessary CGI prairie dogs in the first shot of the movie.

A bunch of cars drive through the DESERT to AREA 51. HARRISON FORD’S SHADOW, then HARRISON FORD’S SHOE, then HARRISON FORD’S ARM, then HARRISON FORD’S HAT and finally HARRISON FUCKING FORD are eventually revealed.

HARRISON FORD
Alright folks, let’s get this show on the road. I want to make it to Country Buffet by four.

CATE BLANCHETT
Pryvet, Harrison. I am evil Soviet. You vill help me find Moose and Squirrel, yes?

HARRISON FORD
Holy Christ, you’re not going to talk like that the whole movie are you?

CATE BLANCHETT
Da. You vill help locate MacKuffin now.

(thx, david)