The good and the bad  AUG 18 1998

On the one hand, you've got the good. On the other hand, you have the bad. And then there's a bunch of stuff in the middle. I was in the middle for a long time. Most of my life actually...just sort of floating nonchalantly along.

Then life got weird. Ever since, I've been oscillating between the good and the bad, swinging (sometimes violently) back and forth from one extreme to the other. This weekend, I felt as bad as I've ever felt in my life. Despair the size of a watermelon. But, I also felt as good as I ever felt this weekend. Happiness you only see in the face of a small child during a really ripping game of Peek-a-boo.

And this existance is really different for me...I used to be on cruise control, but now I'm driving in the city, stopping and starting again at all the intersections. I really don't know where I'm going to end up. Is all this oscillating going to rip me apart or will I settle on one or the other or end up somewhere in the middle again?

Right now, the good is far outpacing the bad...and I think that trend will continue for a while.

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