Here's Jason from earlier yesterday when asked if he was going to watch the Oscars: "I'm going to try to avoid them at all costs."

And Jason today: "I watched every single goddammed minute of the Oscars, including the hour-long Baba Wawa pre-Oscar show."

The punchline: "Jason is weak-willed and Titanic won everything. And despite my efforts to not like Billy Crystal, he's pretty damn funny."

Also, I can't figure out whether the Academy members vote with their hearts, their heads, their wallets, or if they're just reading from a script. I think the order is: "script, wallet, heart, head," which is exactly backwards to me. Good thing I'm not a wildly successful Hollywood movie star...I don't think I'd fit in out there.