I'd just like to note that I am also both super smart/capable *and* wildly clueless — the youth don't have a monopoly on not knowing what they don't know.

I've got a 19 YO living at home and reeeaalllyyy feel the super smart/capable *and* wildly clueless. Often the distressing thing is how absolutely sure he is that he isn't wildly clueless despite strong evidence otherwise. Fortunately I still remember my wildly clueless days, which have graduated to knowing when I'm wildly clueless, and try to have some compassion. But it's tough. It's tough.

See Neil Postman’s The Disappearance of Childhood.

I’ve told my daughters they are adults when they get their own Netflix accounts. Looking forward to that day.

We are still asked by the two youngest (22 & 20) to look over emails before they send them. They don’t lack confidence, but it’s an adult skill that eludes them. Should I be happy that they are turning to humans instead of relying on a statistical word guessing algorithm?

Solidarity, fellow dad of a HS senior. I swing between being very proud and slightly horrified all day long. I'd give an eye-tooth to see things from his perspective AND that he could see through my perspective (and 30+ more years of living).

We have an 19 year old who just finished their first year of college. My wife and I refer to her and her friends as “baby adults”. They can do, and understand, many things, but they sometimes (often) stumble and miss things.

With a 30yo, and 18yo, and a 16yo, I can say that it is always surprising how things turn out . My wildest kid - the one who was the greatest challenge. The kid that had 'spirit' as the enabling family said. The one that made me question my abilities as a parent has rather abruptly demonstrated an abundance of discipline, generosity, kindness and maturity for no known reason. How do I know he is an adult? I didnt tell him to do any things to promote these features.

100% relate!! With the 19-yr old we joke about what percentage of adult he currently is. He hit 60% going to college and then we adjust it as he can (or cannot!) figure out adult things. Signing up for driving lessons in OH on his own, 62% adult! Leaving empty take out containers in his room before going away for a week, downslide to 57%

Might I recommend this poem (which came to me this morning via the Poetry Foundation's daily email), We, by Joshua Bennett: "Where does my influence, my aspiration, end and the child begin?"

Ooooh, thank you! Such a good question to ponder.

Also the line "Sustained attention is how we approach a flesh and blood experience of the Divine" seems like an apt description of all that was shared in this biking/passion activity post a few days ago.

On the daily poetry email suggestion, I get Poem-a-Day by the Academy of American Poets. Adding this one to double my daily random poem intake.

For parents: never really.

I have taught high school students (mainly juniors & seniors) for the past 10 years and now have a teenager in my house. I often think about this TED Talk by Kathryn Schulz about what it feels like to be wrong.
"I'll give you an analogy. Do you remember that Loony Tunes cartoon where there's this pathetic coyote who's always chasing and never catching a roadrunner? In pretty much every episode of this cartoon, there's a moment where the coyote is chasing the roadrunner and the roadrunner runs off a cliff, which is fine -- he's a bird, he can fly. But the thing is, the coyote runs off the cliff right after him. And what's funny -- at least if you're six years old -- is that the coyote's totally fine too. He just keeps running -- right up until the moment that he looks down and realizes that he's in mid-air. That's when he falls. When we're wrong about something -- not when we realize it, but before that -- we're like that coyote after he's gone off the cliff and before he looks down. You know, we're already wrong, we're already in trouble, but we feel like we're on solid ground. So I should actually correct something I said a moment ago. It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right."

Talking to teenagers about this idea - that there are probably tons of things they're wrong about but haven't realized it yet - is always fascinating. They have such a strange mix of utter confidence in some things and complete doubt about others. Often they have it backwards, doubting the things they're good on and feeling rock solid where they've actually missed the boat. I think maybe this is a big part of becoming an adult: learning that you're going to be wrong a lot and it's okay.