I just updated the 2024 Kottke Holiday Gift Guide, including some gifts for people you hate (ugly decanters, Baby Yoda s&p shakers). Years ago, a work colleague received a *turtle* as a wedding gift. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever given or received?
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When I was 14 I bought my mom a poster from the mall for Christmas. It was a frazzled cartoon duck that said “I’m feeling stressed!” in bold black letters. Bless her heart she hung it in the laundry room.
That's amazing
My daughter (she was six at the time) very specifically wanted to buy me a dog-shaped foot rest for Mother’s Day. She roped in my spouse and they perused the Internet for what she was looking for. It turns out, you can either buy a tacky and inexpensive dog-shaped ottoman or a tacky and expensive one. Since my daughter was feeling so enthusiastic, willing to part with her entire tooth fairy savings ($8), my spouse invested in the tacky and wildly expensive Labrador-shaped foot rest. This enormous, plush creature, “Rainbow,” is simultaneously the absolute worst gift of my life and my favorite experience of receiving a gift. She’s always around, relocating from one room to another.
An aunt once gave me a burned CD-R of Linda Ronstadt's album Duets for Christmas. It wasn't a bad gift, but it felt like the ultimate aunt-who-doesn't-really-know-what-you're-into gift
My uncle famously (and very earnestly) gave my grandfather the “gift” of a Save the Children child sponsorship when he was a teenager. Generously, my uncle paid for the first two months. My grandparents paid for the remaining 30+ years.
House cleaning supplies are basically the worst gifts you can give.
I admit to buying my dad's girlfriend (who I did NOT like) a calendar of bad art that i knew she wouldn't like because she'd have to look at it all year. I was in high school and I bet I invested way more energy into it relative to how much she cared, but it felt so satisfying. If you're curious, the art was by Thomas Kinkade. 🙃
https://thomaskinkade.com/
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