Some good advice, some of it probably a few years out of date. I'll add as someone working in higher ed - most universities have hit the demographic cliff. There aren't as many college age students as there were 7-10 years ago, and generally funding has gone down. So I would say, if you're looking outside Ivies and near-Ivies, maybe kick the tires a little more than you would otherwise to make sure the program (and maybe even the school) will still be around at least long enough for your son to get a job out of school.

I saw this on Threads and didn’t clock it was you. Best of luck!

I live in Wisconsin and have twins and we toured 5 or 6 colleges with both of them, expensive places like Marquette University and cheap UW campuses like Platteville. You really get no understanding of their academic capabilities or focus during these tours and I got the feeling that the kids are on their own to "make it". That turned out to be very true, our son who has a high level of personal management skills (meaning he manages his time and knows his strengths and weaknesses very well) thrived at a huge school (UW Madison). However, he had to make it all happen, he has to schedule meetings with counsellors and administrators to resolve any issue.

Our daughter who is academically capable (but not as good at being proactive for her own self interest) did poorly at a much smaller and more expensive private school. I think she picked it because she felt like she would have some resources there to help her if she needed it, and that turned out to NOT be the case. She couldn't "connect" with college life and wasn't able to get into classes that interested her and it was $15,000 gone in one semester. She left school and now runs a restaurant at 21 because she's a crazy hard worker and really responsible. It still amazes me that her college (St Norbert) was completely indifferent to her.

I guess what I'm saying is that higher education doesn't seem to be geared toward helping kids be successful. If you have what it takes to grab success, they'll give it to you. If you don't already have everything you need to grab success, that is not what they are there for. You have to have that ability beforehand, and that doesn't always happen even if you are a great worker and smart.

I couldn't read all the replies on Threads b/c I don't have an account, but I do want to voice an argument for really getting to know the schools and figuring out which is for you. Both from working in admissions (some years ago) and from doing my own applications, I can say that you're likely a much better candidate for the school you "vibe" with the most and so more likely to get in. If you've visited, attended classes, etc., you're more likely to know which school(s) is/are the one(s). Not to mention that being able to say in the application that you visited, connected with students, etc. without being too in-your-face about it is a plus.

Also, it is so...much...easier to write the applications for the schools you match with. (I would like that two months of my adult life back that I spent agonizing over an essay for an MBA program I knew I wasn't a fit for.) The schools know what they're looking for and you'll sense what it is if you can go to class and meet students more informally. (When I was in undergrad prospective students could come and stay overnight on campus, but those days may be long gone.) The tour guides should also be able tell you, though they will be primed to try to downplay the negatives of the reputation.

Anyway, good luck! And thanks for starting this conversation -- I'll be there in a couple of years myself.