This is a comment thread I am particularly excited for! I had the privilege of a lifetime to be asked by two close friends to officiate their wedding back in 2017. It is an extraordinary moment to stand among loved ones and play a special part of one of the most over-hyped days in their life -- whether you're officiating or in the wedding party. I did some of my own research online about how to format their ceremony; I really wish this guide had been available at the time! While we came to many of the same conclusions, this would have saved me oodles of research. It was fun to go back and re-read the ceremony I wrote for the couple: reflecting on our shared stories as friends, where we were in life at the time of their wedding — and where we are today. Sent some great nostalgic fall shivers down my spine!!

I like her preparedness and enthusiasm. I've officiated seven weddings, from Disneyland to my back yard, for close friends, close friends' children, acquaintances, and, once, complete strangers. I've helped write some, for others I followed someone else's script. For me, even at my closest friend's wedding I do not want to be part of the entertainment — I think the officiant's role should be somewhat more sedate, not attention-getting. For my favorite wedding, the groom (a fine musician) strapped on a guitar and sang an original song to the bride; in turn, she and her bridesmaids (who had performed as an a cappella group) sang a song to him. The worst was a longtime couple who reluctantly got married for legal reasons (I didn't probe) — my job was to say the fewest words possible!

The other thing about weddings: See if the couple wants to make serious vows - to each other and with their guests. Asking for community vows that are meaningful to the couple can be something that build lasting relationships that are cherished. Talk them through it - what do they want from each other? From those that they invited? What do they want to vow to those they invite? It can be such a sacred moment to swear in a communal way and a very personal way at the same time.

I ran a kind of maker space/coworking space for a while. I once hosted a wedding and the following reception. The officiant was a friend of the couple who had never done it before. The couple had copy/pasted a variety of things they liked and gave it to him to read from at the last minute. Nobody bother proofreading so some sentences just ended in the middle and there were grammatical errors all over the place.

But it didn't matter. It was fun and everybody was laughing along. The couple gave their vows and then we had a potluck with mac and cheese as the theme. Hands down the best wedding I've ever attended.