I doubt I'll live to 104 and my obituary won't begin like this:
Joe Rollino once lifted 475 pounds. He used neither his arms nor his legs but, reportedly, his teeth.
Rollino wasn't even felled by old age. He was killed by a minivan — a fucking Windstar! — while crossing the street in Brooklyn. Here's the deceased circa 1915 at age 10, already displaying a winning form:
Rest in peace, Joe.
