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MadLibs-style template for writing general interest news

MadLibs-style template for writing general interest news stories about “weird” subcultures. “[Bizarre pseudonym], otherwise known as [male person’s name #1] a [number between 15 and 75]-year-old software engineer, was dressed in [costume or armor piece] as he waited in line to pay the $[your age + 50] fee to carouse, enjoy [exotic or fictional food], and discuss [oddball topic] with others drawn to this, the greatest spectacle in the tri-state region involving [entertainment franchise].”