Marriage is like a wrestling match…

M: Ack, what are you doing?

J: I’m putting you in a wrestling hold. It’s called a full nelson, I believe.

M: Well, that’s not nice. This is how you treat your wife? How about a hug instead?

J: No, no, I am being nice…it’s a love nelson.

Despite the sentiment, the love nelson remains an illegal hold of endearment in our household.

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• wrestling