You know what they say about unsolicited advice

I enjoyed reading The Vice Guide to Everything, particularly these two bits:

When you move to a new city, you have to go on walking tours and rent DVDs about it and stuff like that. You have to know about it so when your parents visit you can say things like “That’s the house where Ben Franklin signed the Statue of Liberty.” If you move to a new country, you have to like it. That means learning the language, speaking it at home, and not minding if your daughter marries one of them. Does that mean you can’t wear your turban if you become a New York City cop? ‘Fraid so.

and

Buy a fucking newspaper. You have to read at least some of the front section every day. Otherwise, you are not allowed to have opinions about anything that is in the news. To say all media is biased is a cop-out. There are two PCs: politically correct and pro-corporate. There’s a left-wing bias for things like abortion and immigration but there’s a right-wing bias when it comes to anything corporate. Get over it. There’s still tons of other pertinent information in there, even in the Jew York Times.

By the way, simply saying someone is “right wing” doesn’t count as an apt criticism. Have you ever even listened to the other side’s positions? Then shut your face. And Republicans, do you even know anyone in the sex industry? Then you shut your face, too. The terms “right wing” and “left wing” were created for baby boomers who had just given up religion and were looking for a new gang to join. Calling yourself Democrat or Republican is for pussies.

Link via the always excellent Gulfstream.