Rocky road skin cream

In order to counteract the masculinity of growing a beard a few weeks ago (don’t ask), I tried some of my girlfriend’s liquid face scrub in the shower. Holy liquid sandpaper, Batman! It turns out that face scrub is just goo with rocks in it, much like what you get when sand accidentally gets in your sunscreen at the beach. Expecting a less abrasive material like toothpaste or even Comet, I fear I rubbed too hard to begin with…I ended up a lot redder in spots than when I began. Still and all, my face has never been so smooth.