Quantum dishrag

I’ve convinced myself that the dishes are going to get done without me having to do them. I’m just going to sit right here in front of my computer busy with the day’s tasks and when I turn around, they will be clean. This will not be a magical occurence. No siree. I’m far too practical to believe in hocus pocus. What I’m thinking is that a massive quantum improbability will occur in my kitchen, one that will spontaneously disassemble all the dirty dishes, including all the bits of food and grease, whisk the dirt into the trash, and reassemble the clean dishes on the drying rack. It would be nice if this process fixed the chip in the big green mixing bowl as well, but I’m not crossing my fingers.