Just like a rejection letter from the New Yorker subscription department

I submitted this list to McSweeney’s a few weeks ago and they rejected it. I thought it had promise, but what do I know?

The 2003 NATO Phonetic Alphabet, Sponsored by Some of Your Favorite Products and Services

A - Compaq AlphaServer
B - Bravo, a Cablevision Systems Corporation network
C - Charlie’s Angels 2, a major motion picture starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu
D - Delta Air Lines
E - Echo Digital Audio
F - Foxtrot, by Bill Amend
G - The Volkswagen Golf TDI
H - The Venetian Resort Hotel Casino Las Vegas
I - Grammy nominee India.Arie
J - Romeo + Juliet, now available on DVD
K - 94.3 KILO, Colorado’s Pure Rock!
L - EDEN Organic Baby Lima Beans
M - Michael Jordan Cologne
N - November AG, The Molecular Company
O - Oscar Mayer Beef Franks
P - Papa John’s Pizza
Q - Normandin Hotel Quebec
R - The Alfa Romeo 156 SportWagon
S - GMC Sierra SLT 4WD Extended Cab
T - The Annual Hollywood Tango Festival
U - King Uniforms and Industrial Laundry
V - Victor Company of Japan
W - Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey
X - Chandra X-ray Observatory Center
Y - The New York Yankees
Z - The Universal Zulu Nation, International Hip Hop Awareness Movement