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Everyone hates Muzak, right? Well,

Everyone hates Muzak, right? Well, what would you have instead? Silence? No, that noise, while annoying, is nice to have when you’re waiting for the elevator. How about your favorite music? Good for you, but I don’t know if the woman standing next to you likes Slayer. Besides, actual music costs more money than Muzak. So what are we left with? Muzak…the non-music. It provokes no strong emotion in people, save for a slight feeling of disgust shared by all listeners. It brings us together as a planet: we all hate it, yet here we all are, listening to it. I’m getting all teary-eyed just thinking of all the solidarity.