When I saw the New

When I saw the New Years Eiffel Tower fireworks on TV, I was immediately extremely jealous of Ariana. Normally she’s a pretty nice girl, but she just had to go rub salt in my wound about it when she got home. She writes on her Web site**:

   ”Jason, Paris was amazing….too bad you weren’t there, ha ha! The whole Eiffel-Tower-turned-sparkler thing was incredible, Jason. That’s too bad you weren’t there like I was. I saw the whole thing and you didn’t.”

   ”[I] had one of the best meals of my life. Yummo. Too bad you had to stay in America and eat suckball macaroni and cheese all week, Jason. You suck!”

**Note: certain details of these quoted passages may or may not have been modified. I make no guarantees as to the overall validity of these statements, or indeed of anything on this site. One caveat: I probably do, indeed, suck.