Curtain rises to reveal a living room. A VCR, looking upset, paces the room. A MAN enters.

VCR: There you are.

MAN: Oh. Hi. Long time no see....

VCR: Yeah. It has been awhile. How have you been?

MAN: Fine. I've, uh, been busy at work. You know...

VCR: Liar! It's that TiVo, isn't it? You've been watching the TiVo! Tell me the truth!

MAN: Yes, it's true. I'm sorry, I meant to tell...

VCR: Why is this happening? We used to have such good times together. Remember that time we taped the final Seinfeld? Remember? What's happened to us?

MAN: I can't help it....TiVo is just too good to me. It records my favorites without me telling it to. It even remembered to record Futurama when it switched time slots. You never remembered stuff like that. Never.

VCR (looking down): I know. But we'll always have the video store, right?

MAN: Wellll... with all the great movie channels on DSS and with TiVo's 30 hours of recording time, I don't need the video store anymore.

VCR: What are you trying to say?

MAN: Well, unless you can learn to pause live TV like the TiVo, we're going to have to part ways.

VCR: No! Please! I can change! Just give me a chance...

MAN: I'm sorry. You're not digital...it's just not going to work out. I'm so sorry.

The curtain falls.